701.000.0000
PO Box 85 Bismarck, ND 58502
At Home Activities to Help a Child Navigate Their Grief
WRITING & VERBAL TOOLS |
|
Writing about grief and loss can trigger strong emotions — you may cry or feel deeply upset. But many people find writing to be meaningful, and report feeling better afterward. Writing is an excellent form of release for children of all ages. It helps them express their thoughts without speaking aloud, which is often challenging for many young people. Keeping a journal will help children clear their minds and lighten their emotional loads. If the child is too young to write, they can draw their journal as well.
Dos and Don'ts
- Do not read over their shoulders
- Allow them to write openly and freely without feeling watched or mandated.
- Do not be hyper critical. Let the writing be what they need it to be.
- Do not edit their work unless they ask for specific feedback, in which case always keep in mind to be constructive, not corrective.
- Writing in general is personal; writing about a loss and grief is taking that delicate material to a new level of personal.
- Do not worry about spelling, punctuation, or grammar.
- Do not insist they always be logical. Let their heart talk as much as their heads.
- Do not avoid the scary, unsettling parts of grief
- Sometimes the best writing and the most successful processing and healing, happens in the darkest crevices of grief.
- Always be compassionate and never assume all grief is the same or that all grievers process their loss the same.
Alternative Journaling Ideas
|
Journaling Prompts
|
Other Writing Ideas
Making an Acrostic (or other poetry):
Using each letter of the deceased person’s first name, a child can create a short poem by using a descriptive word that starts with the same letter. For example, the name Mike may evoke the following words: magnificent, incredible, kind, and empathetic, to describe the deceased’s character or spirit. This activity invites children to explore an artistic and uplifting approach as they reflect on words that represent their significant person.
Finish the Sentence:
If writing is frustrating for the child, try verbal queues instead. Some children may find it difficult to open up and share their thoughts and emotions about grief. This activity fosters the child’s curiosity and encourages the use of vocabulary associated with grief. The activity involves creating open-ended sentences for the child to complete. The format of the sentence helps the child to express their thoughts and feelings. Examples of these sentences include: “If I could talk to the person who died, I would ask…” or “When I think of my person who died, I feel…”
Matching Emotions:
Young children need support as they develop language and a vocabulary for their emotional and physical feelings. Fun language development activities include matching a feeling word with an action word such as sadness and crying, or matching emotion words with illustrations of faces showing those emotions. These activities may help a child safely overcome their frustrations by making use of simple expressive words that will help them feel heard and understood.
Using each letter of the deceased person’s first name, a child can create a short poem by using a descriptive word that starts with the same letter. For example, the name Mike may evoke the following words: magnificent, incredible, kind, and empathetic, to describe the deceased’s character or spirit. This activity invites children to explore an artistic and uplifting approach as they reflect on words that represent their significant person.
Finish the Sentence:
If writing is frustrating for the child, try verbal queues instead. Some children may find it difficult to open up and share their thoughts and emotions about grief. This activity fosters the child’s curiosity and encourages the use of vocabulary associated with grief. The activity involves creating open-ended sentences for the child to complete. The format of the sentence helps the child to express their thoughts and feelings. Examples of these sentences include: “If I could talk to the person who died, I would ask…” or “When I think of my person who died, I feel…”
Matching Emotions:
Young children need support as they develop language and a vocabulary for their emotional and physical feelings. Fun language development activities include matching a feeling word with an action word such as sadness and crying, or matching emotion words with illustrations of faces showing those emotions. These activities may help a child safely overcome their frustrations by making use of simple expressive words that will help them feel heard and understood.
ART |
|
Visual Art
- Photo collage or scrapbook of loved one
- Create a wall of memories with framed photos of your favorite moments
- Paint on a blank canvas, sheet, or wall
- Decorate a wooden box to keep meaningful souvenirs
- Make a quilt out of your loved one’s clothing
- Memory Stones
- Ornaments
Memory Box
The purpose of a memory box is to protect the important object(s) connected to a significant person and symbolically and physically contain them, allowing children to visit with their person whenever they choose.
Children may associate certain objects such as photos or articles of clothing with their significant person. Allow the child to pick a box of their choice – it can be any size — and decorate it as they wish, at their own pace. Parents/guardians can encourage the child to name the items and describe why they chose them as they are put in the box. If children do not have objects or photos, they can write or draw a memory of their person. Children should be reminded that anytime they are thinking of their person they can return to the box. |
|
Making a Memory/Charm Bracelet
This activity also involves special objects that a child may associate with their significant person. In this case, the special object is a bracelet made especially to continue the relationship bond with the deceased. Let the child choose the beads and create their own design. Wearing the bracelet may help the child feel connected to their significant person when they feel lonely.
|
Hand TracingThis activity allows children to use their senses when remembering their person. Ask the child to think of a memory of their special person. Then have the child trace their hand on a piece of paper with a pen or pencil.
Ask the child to think about the memory using their senses of touch, sight, smell, hearing, and taste and have them write one “sense memory” in each of the fingers. For example, if the memory involves sledding, they might use snowflakes on the tongue (taste), slippery sled (touch), children laughing (hearing), the person’s jacket covered with snow (sight), and hot chocolate consumed after sledding (smell). Parents/guardians can connect the sense memories to other activities the child enjoys and reinforce positive associations with the deceased. |
RECREATIONAL & COGNITIVE |
|
Physical and mental activities give children an outlet to express anxiety or fears without directly focusing on the issue at hand. Through therapeutic movements or cognitive reasoning, kids are able to channel their emotions and worries into tangible activities.
Physical Activities
- Yoga
- Meditation
- Dance/Movement Therapies
- Dancing to the beat of the songs you once shared and connecting to those memories
- Playing upbeat music that allows you to freestyle dance
- Karate
- Gardening
|
Solving a MazeA maze, with its network of passages and interconnecting pathways, can mirror the grief process. A child may encounter difficult emotions and feelings, with no clear path forward, and not possess the language to express and navigate their grief.
Exploring mazes can help children organize and identify their thoughts and feelings. Using a maze encourages the child to go at their own pace. It also offers parents/guardians opportunities to pause, reflect, and listen to the child’s feelings as they navigate their own grief journey. Free printable maze templates are available on the Internet. |
MUSIC |
|
Music Activities
- Create a recording or video playlist with your loved one’s favorite tunes
- Write a song in your loved one’s honor
- Create a video with images of your loved one and a meaningful song in the background
- Listen to relaxing music
- Take music lessons
- Learn to compose your own music and allow emotions to emerge through each note and composition
FINAL THOUGHTS |
|
It is important for children who are bereaved to be able to acknowledge the death of a significant person and have all of their feelings validated. It is equally important to be mindful that children observe and listen to examples modeled by the adults in their environment, modeling healthy behaviors will support a child in their healing. These expressive arts activities are intended to provide opportunities for adults to actively listen and support children to grieve at their own pace.
In addition to the activities mentioned above, seeking support through a licensed mental health professional or support group is always recommended to offer support through community.
In addition to the activities mentioned above, seeking support through a licensed mental health professional or support group is always recommended to offer support through community.